Oscar Screenplay This Is Not
by Dark-Sylph
Summary: Ok, my wierdness has risen to a new level! If you wish to see what REALLY happened in the fairy woods, read & REVIEW... Just so you know...


**I was amazingly bored this afternoon because I was packing books and it's the most nonbrainable thing you can do so... I was actually kinda thinking about doing a bunch of little screenplays but we'll see. For now, this is a one-shot thingy. Just so you know, I did Blah-ndy purposefully since it sounds like blondie (he he he). This was just a little stupid thingamajjigure so don't get overly excitedabout spelling, grammar, yaddah, yaddah yaddah... Okey dokey?**

Scene: _The large tree where the fairies live and Pethetic Pansy is leading Blah-ndy toward it. Capítan Thumbtack is secretly following them…_

Fairy 1: Take a gander at what's coming toward us, Tink.

Tink: Dude, they, like, so do not match.

Fairy 2: Depends on what you mean by matching… apparently, there is a flame on her side of it but not his. Pethetic's sulphur has always had problems.

Tink: Oh. My. Gosh. Is she holding his hand!

Fairy 1: Uh huh and it appears he's showing her to our tree.

Tink: AAAAA! I gotta hide!

Pethetic Pansy: Blah-ndy, would you like to see fairies do the tango?

Blah-ndy: No duh, of course I would like to see a bunch of little bright lights do the tango.

Pethetic Pansy: Ok.

_They move closer while Tink peeks from behind a leaf and Thumbtack blunders around a couple yards away. He's forgotten his glasses again and is having trouble seeing even the moon is really full and really bright. _

Blah-ndy: Can we please stop watching this, it's making me sick!

Pethetic Pansy: Sure.

Blah-ndy: Hey, I've got an idea!

Pethetic Pansy: What?

Blah-ndy: Why don't we try to dance! It seems like fun and since we can fly, you can't step on my toes. This plan is fool-proof!

Tink: _Mutters_ No it's not because you're an idiot and any plan you make will come off wrong. I'll just bet you can't get away without mentioning Ferbies again.

Pethetic Pansy: _Nods head and holds out his hand _By the way, remind me to slap the mermaids silly for trying to drown you.

Blah-ndy: Okey dokey, will do. Stupid thing felt like a frog too…

_Begins dancing with Pansy after several seconds of figuring out where hands go and then they dance into the air and moonlight. Thumbtack walks up and finally spots Pansy and Blah-ndy dancing and sits down because he's stupefied by the idea of Blah-ndy actually dancing in a nightdress considering it's way too easy to look up it._

Thumbtack:_ Mumbles in amazement _Man, I wish I had a Wendy to dance with, Blah-ndyes are so unfashionable these days. This makes it easier when I capture her. _Looks over and sees Tink muttering dire threats against the mosquito trying to eat her_ You don't have a Wendy either I see.

Tink: I was banished dimwit! Geez, I thought you know all this stuff already and why would I want a Wendy anyway?

Thumbtack: Beats me, but perhaps what you need is a Dandy.

Tink: Har, har. Don't make me pinch you, Thumbtack.

Thumbtack: Hmmm, maybe you and I have some things we need to discuss considering we have such differing opinions.

Tink: Agreed and plus, I need to talk to Smee about doing something with that beard.

Thumbtack: Alright, see you tomorrow. Noonish?

Tink: Sure, whatever. _Peers up at the dancing couple with glee _She's about to ask him about his Ferbies again. I always love fireworks at the end of a insane day.

_Thumbtack and Tink stare up at Pethetic Pansy and Blah-ndy as the stupid girl asks Pansy about his Ferbies again. He's extremely touchy about the subject for someone his age._

Pethetic Pansy: This is just plain wrong. You are 12, I'm probably 13 and we are falling in deep water. This ain't good.

Blah-ndy: Don't be stupid. It's your Ferbies getting in the way again and we need to discuss this again.

Pethetic Pansy: Huh?

Blah-ndy: _sighs_ remember? You have your fits of emotions and they are really annoying because you act just like a pubescent youth. I swear, it's getting annoying. Now about your Ferbies…

Pethetic Pansy: AGH! Haven't we gone over this enough? The next thing I know, you'll be asking me about the L word.

Blah-ndy: Heck no! I hate that show anyway, talk about nauseating.

Pethetic Pansy: Phew…

Blah-ndy: What I wanted to ask, do you have any Ferbies that are named Like?

Pethetic Pansy: Like…?

Blah-ndy: _sighs again_ you know, like like?

Pethetic Pansy:_ faces pales_ Never heard of it.

Blah-ndy: Yes you have.

Pethetic Pansy: Haven't.

Blah-ndy: Have.

_Both Thumbtack and Tink groan as they realize this is going to get very nasty. Mother and Father of Infinityland are fighting again and it's a good thing the Lost Boys aren't here because the grammar is atrocious. _

Thumbtack: Tell me, how would Blah-ndy know about the like like if she's only 12 and she just found out she has a woman's chin a day ago?

Tink: No idea. Wait… how did you know Aunt Milicent said that?

Thumbtack: Uh… the narrator made me do it.

Tink: _groans_ I think I'm the only person here without an omniscient complex.

Thumbtack: Hang on, I think that Pansy just ran off.

Blah-ndy: I hate you! You ruin a perfectly good, romantic dance just because you realized we're tweenagers. Get back here you coward!

Pethetic Pansy: NO! I have to check on my Ferbies and see if they're still locked away. No knowing what you'll do in one of your random moods.

Blah-ndy: Random moods! _Gasps with the weight of the accusation and begins to cry._

_Fairy 1 whispers to Fairy 2_

Fairy 1: Houston, we have a problem.

Fairy 2: Yeah, we definitely will if Hook gets a load of us soon.

Fairy 1: Why, coz we have tights? And because his distant cousin is taking his part?

Fairy 2: Heck no! He just has a sadistic nature when it comes to fairies. I mean come on, how many guys do you see tramping around a jungle saying 'There's no such thing as fairies' when they're little boys. You know how depleted our population was back then.

Fairy 1: Uh huh but I think we need to skedaddle because Pansy is coming this way and if he knows we got screen time we're toast.

Fairy 2: Toast? YUM! I'm beginning to crave jam right about now…

Lost Boys: _at the Indian camp_ Did we miss something?

**AN: **Just so you know, the Ferbies are made to represent his feelings and like like is love. No duh but I just wanted to make sure. If you do wish me to continued doing little screenplays just tell me in the reviews. Uh, yeah, I am expecting reviews because I'm expecting at least two so therefore I can make review plural and I'm just really, really never going to drink sparkling water late at night again. Easy ridin' :)


End file.
